Much can be learned through struggles, striving, loneliness, and a variety of chaotic scenarios. Some tend to safely learn about life through the window of the movie screen, where entire stories can be played out from beginning to end in around 110 minutes, and most times satisfactorily resolved. Unlike those who are drawn to scary movies or sad melodramas, I prefer movies with happy endings. For example, tagging along to observe two NYC strangers' emotions expressed in emails throughout their developing love story. Or, watching determined Entrepreneur P.T. create the greatest show, with his ups and downs, to finally embrace home. Or, viewing the Oz struggle, to obtain the all-important witch's broom, to pass onto the supposed great and powerful.
Anti-hero characters create tension and challenges for movie heroes. Including Oz's wicked witch and her ever-present broom, always challenging poor Heroine Dorothy. The broom seemed so important not only to the witch, but also to the wizard. So it got me thinking about the purpose and importance of brooms... to clean floors. Unfortunately, they can also be used in an unintended way... to sweep crumbs and dust under the area rug or even under the couch. Eventually, some time and some way the underneath of the rug or furniture will somehow be exposed. The dirt and chaos will not be hidden forever.
Likewise, piling up dirty dishes for 3 weeks straight, and the pile turns into mountains of cups, plates, and utensils waiting for the filled-to-the-max, broken mid-cycle dishwasher to be fixed (it's amazing how fast dishes pile up). To hand-wash the mountains, where does clean-up start? It takes a plan to have space for needed designated stations: dirty dishes, soapy sink, rinse, drying counter. And dishes are separated by type (plates, glasses, bowls... because air drying space is limited); and, an item's dirtiness means that early washing of one oily fish plate in the soapy water isn't wise (save the fish plate for last lest it contaminate the dish water).
In marriage it seems so much easier to hide emotionally, going through life like close acquaintances, back-to-back busy or distracted, committing relational sins. In other words, unknowing to one of the partners, agreed-upon systems are being circumvented. It is easy and convenient to never deal with dysfunction.
Any anti-hero or villain wants marriages to crumble; for systems to break down. Broken marriages mean broken family units and chaos. Long-term distraction could dismantle a marriage, leaving it unprepared. Lesson learned? Don't hide relational issues under the rug. Clean-up delayed needs a plan, and it takes focused time to address the issues. The longer dirt is swept underneath, the harder it becomes for the dirt to remain hidden, especially when and if all hell breaks loose. Like the chaos that can happen during transitions of any kind (moves, aging, empty nest, etc.).
Oh, that "broom." Use it for its intended purpose. Deal with the dirt (face it), sweep debris into a pile (determine a plan), and get rid of it (give the outcome to the actual Great and Powerful One). Be courageous, use your brain, and have a heart. Gentle confrontation is worth the risk to pride and ego, because chaos of some sort will at one time or another come to challenge even an ideal marriage.
Friends and family would be shocked to learn... we were not prepared relationally to deal with transition's unpredictable chaos. In the middle of a long-distance move, when it felt like everything familiar was being ripped away with the earth opening underneath my feet (like Dorothy being whirled to an unfamiliar land), and major decisions were being made... that is when I realized that agreed-upon systems were being circumvented. A minor secret was being kept, but it represented a critical unhealthy teaming dynamic.
I think the anti-hero is disappointed. We are, most of the time calmly, addressing our trust and communication issues, or lack thereof. When a relationship is living and vital enough to handle life's major transitions and chaos, and safely team together, there's no place like home sweet home (wherever "home" is). It's the greatest show.
Working towards a happy ending.
I press toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus
Philippians 3:14 NIV
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